Karol Wojtyla and me - trivia

I spend far too much time online reading what people write.
That would explain why I don't have enough time to write my own stories.
And now put some TV in the mix too.

I am sure if I dig deep enough, I might find my motivation dissipating in all of this.


But you know my secret hopes and wishes about writing more often- so this time I'd spare you. Hopefully actions will speak for themselves.

I like me some Saint John Paul the II. He ticked all my buttons on 'How to be a good Pope (person)'! You know... the category of people that actually ask 'What Would Jesus Do?' I felt really special when I learned that his first visit to Nigeria was on my birthday - ok, ok! He arrived on the 12th of February and I was born on the next day so...let's say he didn't want to miss any part of it.

I always knew about his (first) visit to Nigeria and the nice coincidence with my birth.

I also knew there was an assassination attempt on his life a while back before I was born.

So imagine my aha! moment when at mass, one glorious Sunday, I learned that he was shot at on May 13. Nine months before I was born. Possibly at the moment of my conception - yeah, I might as well be downright dramatic!


The lesson in all of this for me should be FORGIVENESS. I haven't been shot at, at least not literally. And I don't think I need to be Pope to forgive those people who hurt me - that's what Jesus would do! That's what he did!


I'm Work In Progress.

Saint Pope John Paul II. Pray for me

A debt that cannot be fully paid

Romans 13: 8 - Owe no man anything but love...


There are people that are more comfortable as debtors than others. In my nuclear family (as with most families, I suspect), we have a mix of both. However the majority of us are what I like to think of as uncomfortable debtors.
Now, this is not me directly or indirectly judging anyone who is a more comfortable debtor than I am. I realize this is one of the things that define me - 'cut your coat according to cloth' that is how some of us are wired. So, the way I see it is that if I get sleepless nights because I am in debt, it would stand to reason that at the nearest opportunity I'd get myself out of debt while ensuring I don't repeat the cycle (often, if at all).


This bible passage crossed my mind recently and I couldn't help but wonder 'why love?'.
Why not money?
Or respect?
Or clothes?
Or forgiveness?
Or (fill in the blank)?

I don't have the answer to that question as yet but on thinking a little bit more on the verse, it made a lot of sense that love is the one thing that cannot be (re)paid in full. Nobody, no matter how rich (or poor) they are, can claim to have loved fully all those they ought to love in the way they wanted to be loved?
I'm reminded of the rich young man in the bible who came to Jesus asking what he needed to do to make eternal life? He had fulfilled all righteousness but he did it from a place of comfort. It didn't cost him enough - at least not by Jesus' standard. Jesus had told him to go sell ALL his riches and then come "follow me". That's expecting a lot - but not more than the Savior was willing to give. It required love for the young man to do what Jesus asked.

It requires love for us to do the same - love doesn't operate from a place of comfort, or rightness, or superiority, or pride, or unforgiveness....

That's the point, love is expensive. It is exhausting from a human point of view to love everybody (even my enemies! seriously?) and all the time too. But it is not unachievable. And by reading through verses 7 to 10 it becomes clearer what the mind of God is.

In essence, even if you are in the category of people that are uncomfortable debtors, you couldn't pay off your love debt if you tried. We could not love too much in this world! All we can do is love a little more each day.

That's my interpretation (albeit limited). I'd like to hear yours too.

why infant baptism?

Born into a Catholic home, my only proof of my baptism is in the pictures (my baptismal card too)  I was shown as a little child. The pictures were in my parents' famous wooden albums and I absolutely loved looking through them whenever the opportunity (namely an ‘August’ visitor) presented itself.

On occasion though, either by questioning or story-telling moments that were part of my childhood, the stories behind the pictures were told. That is most probably how I discovered I was the beautiful baby (touché) quietly receiving her stamp of being a Christian by baptism of water. The picture is probably cliché – my sisters all had similar ones too – of a non-pregnant looking mom holding out my head to receive the water being poured from the bowl and a fuller-haired dad smiling at the camera during the infant baptism mass celebration.

At the time, we’d have gone back home either to a mini-celebration or just receiving felicitations of friends in church after the baptism mass. It officially signaled that my mom was ‘fit’ enough to get back into church activities after birthing. My parents did this for all 5 of their children by the way.

While growing up, I realized that infant baptism was not the norm across Christendom. Maybe because I was pre-conditioned as a Catholic, I didn’t give it much thought often and when I did, I couldn’t fathom for the life of me, what was so wrong with baptizing your baby versus letting them grow up and choosing their religious path. Honestly, I disliked small talk pretty early in life and my impatience extended to all the bickering across Christendom where accusations and counter accusations were always thrown in order to justify why people decided to do things differently. I avoid Religious arguments for only one reason, I think it is personal and I am making my journey for myself. I don’t expect to discover my truth for someone else and I certainly don’t expect anyone to do me that favour – we all have to make that discovery ourselves.

But I digress. Recently, I realized that asides from being commonsensical, infant baptism is an offshoot of the wisdom of the Church. The question shouldn’t be ‘why do you baptize an infant without their consent?’ but ‘why not?’ Do you go about naming your child only after they have come of age and agreed to go by the name ‘Bob Joe’ or ‘Anne Smith?’ (probably before then you’d call them ‘baby1’)? Do you wait for their consent before you take them for the ‘mandatory’ immunizations as prescribed by your doctor especially because they cry when receiving the many injections and meds? Do you wait till they are fully grown and ask them to pick what nationality they want to identify with?– and truly the list goes on!

So when is the right time to baptize your child? To me the answer lies in this question – when is the right time to claim your child for God? What is their identity between the time they are born until they decide who they want to pledge allegiance to?

In all honesty, there are so many decisions parents have to take on behalf of their children – some have little impact and others have a lifetime effect. Most of these decisions are taken by human beings who don’t know it all but who definitely should know better than anybody else – including the child at this stage. It is a foregone conclusion that most parents have the best interest of their children at heart which include spiritual, physical, emotional, social aspects of their well being. For African Christians, we like to emphasize the spiritual even if it means garnishing it over any or all of the others mentioned earlier. So I have no doubt in my mind that baptizing an infant was anything but the best thing to do. I bet you that more often than not, the celebration of the first year birthday of the child would trump any baptism celebration and if you have attended any one of these type of celebration, you know it is less for the child who barely can stand on their feet!

Having said that, I would add it is not enough to go through the motion of infant baptism. And it does not absolve the parents from doing the needful work of ‘train(ing) a child in the way that they ought to go’, rather, it should set the foundation for the child to discover himself/herself completely as fore mostly a spiritual being – belonging to the family of the Most High God - and secondly as belonging to this earthly community of believers (and unbelievers). Exactly as explained on Sunday by Fr. Afam Ikeh – we are embodied spirits and not spiritualized bodies.

I have taken care not to quote the Catholic doctrine here as part of my reasons in the bid to have meaningful conversation with people not versed in the Catholic doctrine.

My mother, my rock

I am usually overwhelmed with emotions many times I think of my mom - like when I think seriously about her. This doesn't take any effort because a lot of things remind me of her.


I feel safe in her company. She is the one person that when I hug I feel safe. Even if she is the one that is ill. If someone ever told me my mom would poison me, my first inclination would be to agree with my mom because I think she is the one person that has my best interest at heart all the time.

Enough about me.

So I was thinking about some random stuff this early saturday morning and I remembered some of the songs my mom taught us as kids. Given that she is not pushy, we must have been more impressionable.


Wide, wide as the ocean
High as the heavens above
Deep, deep as the deepest sea
Is my saviour's love (saviour's love for me)

Why? I'm so unworthy
Still I'm a child of his care
For his love teaches me
That his love reaches me
E-very-where!

Full with demonstrations o!

What occurred to me is that my mom is one person I know that loves the Lord. If she doesn't make heaven then I am not sure I want to be there. She holds no grudge and you can't use her name and anger in the same sentence. She epitomizes long suffering and consistency. She is not judgmental and is ever the pacifist. She is the only person I have literally cried out my hurting heart to 3 of the 4 times I was in that 'condition'. She is unassuming, caring without being nosy, absolutely without drama, easily lovable, not vengeful or shrewd but the best confidante anyone could ask for, wise in a quiet way in the things that matter and a mentor/mother to so many people.

She is the only person I know that loves like a child - who wakes up every morning to speak to her Maker before she wakes all the agbayas in the house for Family devotion. She has always, always done this and it got so bad that if we don't get the 'wake-up call' then it means she is either ill or unavoidably absent.

And that, my friends is truly and unarguably the best person you want to be your mother in your next life! If you are nice enough, I'd be your big sister ...LOL.

Chukwu gozierem Nnem, ezigbo nnem!

Matthew 20:1-16 - the parable of the vineyard workers

A burning question on what side of the fence we belong to.


We all have received grace, some apparently more than others but nonetheless grace (unmerited favor) received at the direst of moments cannot be quantified as big or small. Case in point : if I was on the verge of jumping off the cliff to my death, and I get some form of intervention that gets me off that cliff before I clicked "THE END" of my story a second before the designated END, can I actually say I received any less grace than a cultist who has so much blood on his hands and whose success is based on blood money but who stumbled upon Christ in the most unlikely of circumstances - reading bed time stories to his grand daughter? In context, the obvious answer is NO!

But we don't always put things in context do we?

All the comparisons.
The dissatisfaction that is borne from these comparisons.
The jealousy and envy that is inevitable as a result.
The strife to be better, to do better because we are in competition with someone else (that doesn't matter) other than self.


Back to the matter at hand: the parable...

I understand both the anger of the workers that worked a full day for a full day's wage against the owner of the vineyard and the seeming unfairness of getting paid a full day's wage for working for only 1 hour! (Lazy me thinks, I'd like to be in that group!). A few things though help me to agree completely with the owner of the vineyard:

• There was a deal - you work, I pay you what you need to survive for the day (Give us this day our daily bread. A denarius was a day's wage - any less and the latecomers might not have been able to feed their families)

• It is the owner's prerogative to give what he wants and to whom he chooses - the owner went out searching and found all the workers. Easily, if he had taken a different route, the latecomers might have been found first.

• Having said the above, if I was among the first people to be called and a loved one was among the latecomers, would I still grumble if I knew his/her life depended on receiving the said wage?

• It would seem the fair thing for the owner of the vineyard to have done was pay according to how long people worked but is it God's business to give us more than we need or to give us all that we need? The discontentment on the part of the first workers stems from greed. They had what they bargained for when they were called upon to work - and at the time of 'employment' they thought it was a fair deal. So what changed?

• The vineyard owner is a business man - in the business of getting his vineyard to be productive. None of the workers empathized with his point of view namely that the earlier he got his vineyard into production, the earlier he gets to make money. If for instance it takes 1 man 10 days to work on the vineyard, if I was the owner I'd look for 9 more men to make the work completion date 1 day! One worker is as good as another in my business of owning a vineyard.

The above is a reminder to self:

• Compete only with yourself as this is the only meaningful competition - in the sense that you try to be better than the who you are today. Everyone receives the grace they need and from the outside, no matter how 'lucky' they seem, (if it helps) think that they have received the grace they need to make it through the day/life.

• The sense of entitlement we feel - whether as Christians or as whatever (insert title) is misplaced! Period. We are blessed because of His grace and should strive to be blessings.

• Grudgingly doing anything kinda nullifies it. Work is hard, life can be hard but it pays to go through life with a smile and a sense of privilege for even being here. 

• Anxiety for tomorrow can be veiled selfishness. Maybe the first workers were thinking "if there is only a few of us then we know we have a source of income for a while". At the detriment of 9 other workers having food on the table today? 

As always, many things are easier said than done - that doesn't mean we should stop saying even as we strive to keep doing. I'd like to hear from you what your thoughts are on this subject.

Too much care

Is there such a thing as caring too much?

I guess if the question isn't rhetorical, the answer is an obvious Yes! also because the opposite is true.

Little things that matter

I felt very pleased with the feedback received after I gave a presentation to undergraduate students of my alma mater. True, it would seem the presentation was a kind of alter ego campaign. That is not what I set out for it to be, but I guess I put in all the feel-good, positive side of my 'side of the story' into the presentation such that for someone who had no idea of the 'whole story' I may come off the hero. So, little wonder that I received pleasant feedback?

To think I almost passed up on the opportunity because I imagined I was running late!

I actually enjoyed giving the presentation and I felt 'good' after doing it and every other time I thought about it. Maybe,  just maybe I'd do it more often.

More importantly, I hope it had a positive impact on someone.