The one that stands out the most in my memory is the one by TD Jakes "Let it go!"
Why the focus on hate?
The one thing I can count on for reassurance in this world filled with unending chaos and man's wickedness to man, is love - God's love - the fact that it is unconditional and all encompassing.
Furthermore, my ability to love someone (and be loved) and knowing how it feels to think about the person being happy, the good memories we made, the joy they bring and an anticipation of future memories we will create....
Coming from this background and knowing that the opposite of love is hate, is there a grey area that we can all safely agree on? Like/dislike is the word I am looking for here!
Back to the black and white.... if love generates such warmth, it is needless to say what hate does. As an averagely careful person (yeah, I am always personalizing my posts), I rarely use the word hate. Off the top of my head I can't even think of someone I will use the word 'intense dislike' to describe. There are many synonyms to hate, as there is to about anything which carries with it such finality:
- abhorrence
- detest
- disdain
- disgust
- odium
- aversion
and the list goes on and on and on...
I have used many of these words a lot more than i have used the word hate - more times than I care to admit. I notice that hate, impatience and anger form a tripod of sorts: each feeding the other and feeding off each other.
This feeling of hate (in any of its variants) causes restlessness and ultimately ill health if harbored for long.
So how do you know you have hate in your heart? When the thought of seeing someone unnerves you in a bad way and the thoughts running around in your mind are harmful to them, when the news of someone's success fills you with the opposite of gladness, when you are rehearsing your reaction to someone in anticipation of meeting with them just so you don't overreact in a bad way (possibly because of past meetings), when you take another street or side street to avoid someone or fake a phone call just so you don't say hi. All these are pointers to the fact that you are uncomfortable with someone and would rather not have to deal with them - which is a human thing. But the extent and frequency with which we perform these and many more similar actions and to particular people, is a pointer to the increasing dislike which always tends to hatred. More importantly, the thoughts that run in our subconscious towards such people is more the distinguishing factor between mere anxiety and progressive hatred.
So how do you know you have hate in your heart? When the thought of seeing someone unnerves you in a bad way and the thoughts running around in your mind are harmful to them, when the news of someone's success fills you with the opposite of gladness, when you are rehearsing your reaction to someone in anticipation of meeting with them just so you don't overreact in a bad way (possibly because of past meetings), when you take another street or side street to avoid someone or fake a phone call just so you don't say hi. All these are pointers to the fact that you are uncomfortable with someone and would rather not have to deal with them - which is a human thing. But the extent and frequency with which we perform these and many more similar actions and to particular people, is a pointer to the increasing dislike which always tends to hatred. More importantly, the thoughts that run in our subconscious towards such people is more the distinguishing factor between mere anxiety and progressive hatred.
I did not intend to preach, just share. I wish I could say I am hate-free. Far from it. I am struggling but I realize the problem is half-solved: I have identified the problem and working on it. I think the best way to deal with hate is to nip it in the bud and determinedly not feed it. If you are at the early stages where you are not even sure what is going on, you should put it on a figurative shelf where it is not easily forgotten - to deal with when you are in a better place - and watch it until you are sure it was just a one off so it doesn't turn to a case of drinking poison and expecting that someone would die from it.
Selah
No comments:
Post a Comment