Being ignored

I remember mentally and vigorously nodding my head when I watched the movie (and now I forget the name of the movie) where the young boy felt and acted invisible-that was me! Somewhere between when I watched that movie and now, I have kinda perfected the art of being invisible.

It behooves me to say this, but I wasn't always a drawn-in, moody-swingy girl, full of introspective (sometimes over analytically inspired) insights. I used to be playful and naughty...until I grew up or like I like to say, life happened to me. Actually, it didn't happen in one instance...it must have been very subtle, seemingly disjointed events that led me into being this morose chic, who has the potential of a great smile but by default always wears a frown and a defensive demeanor.

So, i am broody. If you are looking for a picture of broody, Google me while I am at work...(Don't try that at home!). It is not like I like to form seriousness at work and not relax, because I actually like listening to music and gisting etc. However, I was quick to realize that the atmosphere changes in a split second and without warning. So I have been forewarned and that is my fore-arming. So in the absence of music (which calms my nerve generally) and general gist (which is not general these days as I can't seem to relate with what these people are saying and usually come off either annoyed, clueless or seemingly shallow), I am left with silence and browsing the 'net (if I dare). That is when I ignore completely what is going on around me-an act which I have sadly perfected.

Until recently, I was fine with it until I realized I was being ignored! Tufiakwa! Did I fume? "How dare...wait a minute, you started it first m'dear!" It really is not nice being paid back in your own coin even if you paid with good intentions. I guess!

The reason for this post was sparked when one cool-looking dude at the office (a big boss by the way) for want of something to do, walked up to me to make small talk while hanging around for his other important colleagues to get in. I realized that he was an uncomfortable position and felt sorry for him. I tried to do the small talk but couldn't make it past two sentences before we lapsed into uncomfortable silence. That's the difference between me and them - I am so not diplomatic and do as I will, no need for unnecessary nicieties. Please call the brain doctor - this lady here might need some help