Testimony

It might be a small feat achieved but it is by no means any less a feat. The importance of gratitude, as I am in the process of realizing fully, cannot be underestimated and makes the difference a lot of times between 'to be or not to be'. This more so when it, gratitude, is being accorded to the right person...

This testimony (bland post title I agree), culminates in this fact - You can do it, so just do it! If it seems the road is blocked, know it is one of two things-the road will give way eventually to you as a matter of time, or there is another route to that destination where you are headed. The fact that you can dream it up, means only one thing...you can!

The tears and heartache you encounter on your way there should not serve as a deterrence. I pray for wisdom to know when to throw in the towel. This one is of grave importance too. People will serve you pity, veiled insolence, impatience, disdain...people will out rightly bring you down too-all of this either true in its entirety or some of it is perceived/inflicted by you.

Na so my story be o! I used to sleep a solid 10hrs, mostly out of exhaustion-emotional & physical. You could relate with this on a work level or relationship level if you like. That was my way of fighting - or more like not fighting - the situation. I just wanted to sleep right through all of it and for as long as I could. I fought when I wasn't sleeping - not physically though. Trust self-doubt to creep in, trust fear to lodge itself a happy camper at my bedpost, trust those late nights/early morning frustrating musings to snatch the restive sleep I was trying to indulge in. Will I forget the many tears I shed alone-I mean ALONE? I could dwell on the experience as I am wont to but I remember this is about the testimony-not the past.




So things changed and as much as I don't want to sound hypocritical and preachy, if I say anything else I must give ALL the credit to God. Forget it-that is the only other way it could have worked out the way it did. A few months earlier I couldn't have conceived sleeping 6 hours a day while at work, I could not even comprehend what I'd do when the 'results' were called in-'cos called in they will, just a matter of time-especially as the odds were against me. Then all of a sudden I had peace-peace that passes all understanding. True. It didn't matter then what happened- I was safe whatever happened...in the hollow of His hands. In retrospect, I think I needed to have reached this place of peace to achieve what I did.

The beginning of the trip - end of January 2012 - my 'boss' told me the 'embargo' had been removed and for no obvious reason too. I am sure they expected me to be ecstatic but in all honesty I could not care less. They had exhausted all the injustice they could met out on me. So officially I had to sit for two exams by the end of March 2012. I was not prepared fully for either at the time, preparation had to begin in full swing.

Bla, bla, bla....and there was drama-big time, high tension uncertainties, the many curve balls, deliberate hurdles placed in my path, the big question- will i fail again? (in its many variants : maybe I will be allowed to fail only one exam-i can deal with that; what if I fail both exams? surely i will be devastated). The last straw that broke the camel's back in summary was that I had to push for a 5 day break after several permutations-and-combinations of the schedule. I left work on Wednesday, caught the night flight back home. Arrived home on Thursday morning. My first exam was scheduled for Monday morning and the second originally scheduled for Friday-originally because my 'detractors' made a quick run for it to be rescheduled for a day earlier. Thankfully (na God o), I sat for the Monday exam - jitters et al- successfully. The last 4 minutes of the 4 hour exam were much longer than the 4 hours I sat for the exam or even the long months I had been harboring writing this exam. Phew! result coming out...I brace up like a man! I passed! I am a moda fing PMP is the song that came to mind. I didn't do the yoo-hooh! like my mind was suggesting. Just chinned up like I pass all the exams I write-lol.

I started walking (as is characteristic of me. It'd seem I think better while walking.). The happiness was supposed to be short-lived on reading my mail. I realized I was expected to travel 24hours earlier than scheduled to make my second exam....that equated to slightly over 24hours away from where I was. Everything began in fast forward...I made the decision to go ahead and do it! Everyone in my 'supporter's club' too agreed. I had to bite the bullet o!- I had only spent about 3 days at home and 1 more day was precious. I had not read for this second exam  at the time-nada, not recently though.So I'd to go prematurely for the exam and it made the already foreboding exam multiple times as hard. I hardly slept the 48hrs after I received the mail and had to juggle my logistics on the d-day! Thankfully (ironically) it was only 1 day-my mind was made up, it was sink or swim.On the d-day and an excruciating 7hours on centre stage, 30mins of deliberation by the examiners that seemed like another 7hours and.... I was home and dry! I passed!!!! I was feeling very drained, so it didn't occur to me to do a yoo-hooh! Truth-be-told, I think 3 weeks later and I am just getting back to myself. I have missed me-welcome back and again Thank God!

My supporter's club una do well o! May we not be alone in this journey called life. Just knowing that one person in the whole world decidedly believs in you makes a world of difference. Remember-yes we can!