Predictably, all the BB DPs and FB statuses announced the occasion in one form or the other. Some in honor of the day, some as a subtle warning and yet others in disclaimer mode!
I remembered my dad on this day especially as we sang "Lord for tomorrow and its needs, I do not pray" in church. If I needed any reminding, this did it.
I have some vivid memories of how we spent our evenings at home while I was growing up. There were days we spent in front of the TV watching mexican soaps and Nigerian sitcoms - laughing or wiping off the occasional tear. On the occasions when there was no power, it would seem we had more fun - entertaining ourselves, arguing and singing. My dad came home one of such evenings from church when there was no power and we all were gathered in the sitting room gisting and eventually singing when my dad insisted on teaching us this song. Insisted because everyone seemed to have a couple of songs they wanted to sing that evening and this 'new' song was not on the list - I think he made us sing all the verses of the song (later we would jest him for the way he pronounced tomorrow as 't-morrow').
So singing this song on Father's day definitely brought a smile to my face and got me thinking 'what do Fathers have to offer these days?'. I'm sorry if that came across as confrontational but it is a heartfelt question. Roles are not as defined as they used to be and I wonder if we are doing enough to adjust our lifestyles to accommodate these changes that have been forced upon us by the times.
My dad and I have a few things in common - he is an enigma. A staunch Igbo man, apologetic but who gave all his plenty plenty daughters the chance/choice of great education early in life. He believes the woman's place is in the home and that the man's place is not far from home either. He does not subscribe to subservience - not in women, not at all - humility is not subservience. He does not talk only intelligent things with 'the boys' and 'kitchen stuff with the girls - maybe it helps that the boys are outnumbered. He tries to be fair and share what he has. He is a great lesson in openness.
Belatedly, on this celebration of Father's day, I join my voice in celebration of the many great Fathers, the many best dads in the world, of whom my Dad is arguably the best and say 'Well doing, well done!'.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Friday, June 14, 2013
Ready, Steady ...Action!
I have heard this severally: 'Actions speak louder than words' - I am sure you heard it too.
Is it fair to assess people based on what they say only, what they do only or a mixture of both? What if there is a conflict (as there usually is) between both words and action? Aha, and what of those things yet unsaid? The body language that is as silent as holding a breath?
People do things sometimes without thinking. Some people are naturally like that - impulsive, rash and even out rightly stupid. Some other people are more deliberate, the ones you have to step back from the moment to truly understand what they are on about - sometimes it'd have been already too late before you get to the 'aha!' moment, other times you never get there and have no clue that you are not there. Those are the ones I like to call shrewd. Of course there are some others who do things thoughtfully, ever so careful not to hurt/deface. I know a few people that fall under all categories, but till date the ones that I am most unforgiving towards are the shrewd people.
Based on the first statement, I guess we can safely divide people into 2 broad categories - action people and wordy people. There might even be a third category somewhere in there but I'd keep it simple.
Let me start from the relatively known: me. So I like to talk .... about me, whatever it is that catches my fancy at the time - but I think if there was one thing I like to talk about, it is people and relationships: the whys and what-nots behind them. This does not make me a 'talker' in the strict sense of the word - I have met people who talk for the world and I KNOW for sure I am not one of them! So does that make me a doer? I think so - at least in the scale of things here. Although I find that I like to talk about things I want to do andsometimes many times I don't go through with what I spoke about because I 'heard' myself out or I got discouraged etc.On the other hand, I tend to judge people based on what they do, not say. Good intentions, in my dictionary, doesn't account for much - action does. I guess I do not mind being judged in the same manner.
I started posting this a few days ago because I remembered a few of my many-promises-friends with no action-all talk, no action. I guess I have been conditioned to drive a hard bargain over the years when it comes to relationships so that when it comes to making a clear distinction, there are people that make the ever decreasing list of friends and there are people who just exist as once-upon-a-time friends etc. Mostly, this is based on who does what they said they will do and nothing more. Like I've said several times over the past years "If it is important to you, you'd find time to do it. If it not important, you'd find excuses not to" and also "the most useless thing ever manufactured was excuse".
I wonder if I come across as more of an 'action' person as against a 'talk' person. I know, I have many an unfulfilled promises myself but I'd say at least I try. But I can't be judge and jury, can I? Sue me!
Is it fair to assess people based on what they say only, what they do only or a mixture of both? What if there is a conflict (as there usually is) between both words and action? Aha, and what of those things yet unsaid? The body language that is as silent as holding a breath?
People do things sometimes without thinking. Some people are naturally like that - impulsive, rash and even out rightly stupid. Some other people are more deliberate, the ones you have to step back from the moment to truly understand what they are on about - sometimes it'd have been already too late before you get to the 'aha!' moment, other times you never get there and have no clue that you are not there. Those are the ones I like to call shrewd. Of course there are some others who do things thoughtfully, ever so careful not to hurt/deface. I know a few people that fall under all categories, but till date the ones that I am most unforgiving towards are the shrewd people.
Based on the first statement, I guess we can safely divide people into 2 broad categories - action people and wordy people. There might even be a third category somewhere in there but I'd keep it simple.
Let me start from the relatively known: me. So I like to talk .... about me, whatever it is that catches my fancy at the time - but I think if there was one thing I like to talk about, it is people and relationships: the whys and what-nots behind them. This does not make me a 'talker' in the strict sense of the word - I have met people who talk for the world and I KNOW for sure I am not one of them! So does that make me a doer? I think so - at least in the scale of things here. Although I find that I like to talk about things I want to do and
I started posting this a few days ago because I remembered a few of my many-promises-friends with no action-all talk, no action. I guess I have been conditioned to drive a hard bargain over the years when it comes to relationships so that when it comes to making a clear distinction, there are people that make the ever decreasing list of friends and there are people who just exist as once-upon-a-time friends etc. Mostly, this is based on who does what they said they will do and nothing more. Like I've said several times over the past years "If it is important to you, you'd find time to do it. If it not important, you'd find excuses not to" and also "the most useless thing ever manufactured was excuse".
I wonder if I come across as more of an 'action' person as against a 'talk' person. I know, I have many an unfulfilled promises myself but I'd say at least I try. But I can't be judge and jury, can I? Sue me!
Monday, May 20, 2013
The bells are ringing....
....Alarm bells I mean.
I gotchya didn't I? Ok Maybe not.
That's mostly what I wanted to say - a feeble attempt at playing a prank. It has been long since I last played a prank on anyone. It'd seem I have become overly cautious...
Anyways, na gist I carry come, though reluctantly. So I go knack the tory for pidgin - na so e de do me today. So fast forward to the gist.
Na sense people full this world o. Me believe say, as me be pesin wen no de do cunny-cunny, no be cunny man go bury me! E be like say confusion plenty insai some people head wen dem wan join them wahala with anoda man own. Na so trouble de sleep yanga go wake am. Make una de hear o.
I bin de try hook one of my friends up with one guy wen de wok for my office. The guy try sha, im tall come de coole. No be say I no like better thing o, but as e be for that time, me sef don catch one mugu so I tink am say make me sef try arrange something for my girl.I bin think say na how shall i shy de do the guy so I take style bully am...you know, i fit call my friend just because the bobo waka enter my office con give the guy phone say make im by force tok. Na so so stammer im go de stammer. Trust me, na yabis i go finish am with. I try gaan o. I send picshaw - from one person to the other. No do no do, I connect them for BB. After much much my friend con de complain gimme say the guy just no de try. She gimme some kain gist before I stop to de try myself as matchmaker, I tell am to delete the guy jare. Finally sha, she delete d guy. Na im I organize one function so, both of them jam for dia na im d guy introduce imself to her - i laugh no be small wen i hear d gist con they think for my mind wetin im expect say go shele wen im introduce imself... Wonders shall never end.
Anoda one happen wen facebook join - na me be d busy body wen link the facebook insai the matter. No be say I no like this guy either but true tok be say this my other friend fit d guy pass - she don de de desperate to marry sake of say she be the first girl for her house and her younger sister sef don hook man. So una fit say na charity work i de do, truth fit de insai dat una tok. She sef try. Before the guy gree add her for facebook nko? Na me con de ask am say shey no be human being she be? Na so gist begin o - trust my friend, she knack d matter for head tell my guy say no be small pikin thing she wan do o, say na marry she de so. She con tell the guy how me sef don stamp am say na better person im be and dat her mama sef don look im face for facebook con like am. Make a no too tay for this gist, dem jam for one shopping center for lagos and na for dia d matter begin to end. Na im she con rethink wetin she wan do sake of say she wan marry...hmm! My sharp friend just about turn begin de shuffle the other cards wen she bin get for hand. Wen she tell me say d guy be like say na mago mago im de play, i con tink am kuku tell my friend make she take the matter coole try hear wetin her mind de tell am. Na so d matter don end. Wetin I go tok again? God de and person wen de find sth go meet am.
I de feel for my paddys wen i don give you dem gist so but menh! no be by force eh! No be because I don cross border na im I de yarn like otondo but true tok be say even if person marry imself wahala go still de. no be say make person no de pray say make e happen for am o, but sometimes e better make person de alone instead for to join body with wrong maga. anyways, d oda gist i get na work in progress, maybe e go be my first match making success! If e happen I go gist una.
Muah! Cash ya larer!
I gotchya didn't I? Ok Maybe not.
That's mostly what I wanted to say - a feeble attempt at playing a prank. It has been long since I last played a prank on anyone. It'd seem I have become overly cautious...
Anyways, na gist I carry come, though reluctantly. So I go knack the tory for pidgin - na so e de do me today. So fast forward to the gist.
Na sense people full this world o. Me believe say, as me be pesin wen no de do cunny-cunny, no be cunny man go bury me! E be like say confusion plenty insai some people head wen dem wan join them wahala with anoda man own. Na so trouble de sleep yanga go wake am. Make una de hear o.
I bin de try hook one of my friends up with one guy wen de wok for my office. The guy try sha, im tall come de coole. No be say I no like better thing o, but as e be for that time, me sef don catch one mugu so I tink am say make me sef try arrange something for my girl.I bin think say na how shall i shy de do the guy so I take style bully am...you know, i fit call my friend just because the bobo waka enter my office con give the guy phone say make im by force tok. Na so so stammer im go de stammer. Trust me, na yabis i go finish am with. I try gaan o. I send picshaw - from one person to the other. No do no do, I connect them for BB. After much much my friend con de complain gimme say the guy just no de try. She gimme some kain gist before I stop to de try myself as matchmaker, I tell am to delete the guy jare. Finally sha, she delete d guy. Na im I organize one function so, both of them jam for dia na im d guy introduce imself to her - i laugh no be small wen i hear d gist con they think for my mind wetin im expect say go shele wen im introduce imself... Wonders shall never end.
Anoda one happen wen facebook join - na me be d busy body wen link the facebook insai the matter. No be say I no like this guy either but true tok be say this my other friend fit d guy pass - she don de de desperate to marry sake of say she be the first girl for her house and her younger sister sef don hook man. So una fit say na charity work i de do, truth fit de insai dat una tok. She sef try. Before the guy gree add her for facebook nko? Na me con de ask am say shey no be human being she be? Na so gist begin o - trust my friend, she knack d matter for head tell my guy say no be small pikin thing she wan do o, say na marry she de so. She con tell the guy how me sef don stamp am say na better person im be and dat her mama sef don look im face for facebook con like am. Make a no too tay for this gist, dem jam for one shopping center for lagos and na for dia d matter begin to end. Na im she con rethink wetin she wan do sake of say she wan marry...hmm! My sharp friend just about turn begin de shuffle the other cards wen she bin get for hand. Wen she tell me say d guy be like say na mago mago im de play, i con tink am kuku tell my friend make she take the matter coole try hear wetin her mind de tell am. Na so d matter don end. Wetin I go tok again? God de and person wen de find sth go meet am.
I de feel for my paddys wen i don give you dem gist so but menh! no be by force eh! No be because I don cross border na im I de yarn like otondo but true tok be say even if person marry imself wahala go still de. no be say make person no de pray say make e happen for am o, but sometimes e better make person de alone instead for to join body with wrong maga. anyways, d oda gist i get na work in progress, maybe e go be my first match making success! If e happen I go gist una.
Muah! Cash ya larer!
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Being ignored
I remember mentally and vigorously nodding my head when I watched the movie (and now I forget the name of the movie) where the young boy felt and acted invisible-that was me! Somewhere between when I watched that movie and now, I have kinda perfected the art of being invisible.
It behooves me to say this, but I wasn't always a drawn-in, moody-swingy girl, full of introspective (sometimes over analytically inspired) insights. I used to be playful and naughty...until I grew up or like I like to say, life happened to me. Actually, it didn't happen in one instance...it must have been very subtle, seemingly disjointed events that led me into being this morose chic, who has the potential of a great smile but by default always wears a frown and a defensive demeanor.
So, i am broody. If you are looking for a picture of broody, Google me while I am at work...(Don't try that at home!). It is not like I like to form seriousness at work and not relax, because I actually like listening to music and gisting etc. However, I was quick to realize that the atmosphere changes in a split second and without warning. So I have been forewarned and that is my fore-arming. So in the absence of music (which calms my nerve generally) and general gist (which is not general these days as I can't seem to relate with what these people are saying and usually come off either annoyed, clueless or seemingly shallow), I am left with silence and browsing the 'net (if I dare). That is when I ignore completely what is going on around me-an act which I have sadly perfected.
Until recently, I was fine with it until I realized I was being ignored! Tufiakwa! Did I fume? "How dare...wait a minute, you started it first m'dear!" It really is not nice being paid back in your own coin even if you paid with good intentions. I guess!
The reason for this post was sparked when one cool-looking dude at the office (a big boss by the way) for want of something to do, walked up to me to make small talk while hanging around for his other important colleagues to get in. I realized that he was an uncomfortable position and felt sorry for him. I tried to do the small talk but couldn't make it past two sentences before we lapsed into uncomfortable silence. That's the difference between me and them - I am so not diplomatic and do as I will, no need for unnecessary nicieties. Please call the brain doctor - this lady here might need some help
It behooves me to say this, but I wasn't always a drawn-in, moody-swingy girl, full of introspective (sometimes over analytically inspired) insights. I used to be playful and naughty...until I grew up or like I like to say, life happened to me. Actually, it didn't happen in one instance...it must have been very subtle, seemingly disjointed events that led me into being this morose chic, who has the potential of a great smile but by default always wears a frown and a defensive demeanor.
So, i am broody. If you are looking for a picture of broody, Google me while I am at work...(Don't try that at home!). It is not like I like to form seriousness at work and not relax, because I actually like listening to music and gisting etc. However, I was quick to realize that the atmosphere changes in a split second and without warning. So I have been forewarned and that is my fore-arming. So in the absence of music (which calms my nerve generally) and general gist (which is not general these days as I can't seem to relate with what these people are saying and usually come off either annoyed, clueless or seemingly shallow), I am left with silence and browsing the 'net (if I dare). That is when I ignore completely what is going on around me-an act which I have sadly perfected.
Until recently, I was fine with it until I realized I was being ignored! Tufiakwa! Did I fume? "How dare...wait a minute, you started it first m'dear!" It really is not nice being paid back in your own coin even if you paid with good intentions. I guess!
The reason for this post was sparked when one cool-looking dude at the office (a big boss by the way) for want of something to do, walked up to me to make small talk while hanging around for his other important colleagues to get in. I realized that he was an uncomfortable position and felt sorry for him. I tried to do the small talk but couldn't make it past two sentences before we lapsed into uncomfortable silence. That's the difference between me and them - I am so not diplomatic and do as I will, no need for unnecessary nicieties. Please call the brain doctor - this lady here might need some help
Friday, April 19, 2013
Good for nothing
I read this book by Neil T Anderson in 2011: Who I Am in Christ.
It was refreshing, to say the least. It made me understand that I Am is my Father and thus I am good enough-all the time.
It hurt a lot, also because it came at a bad time as I was dealing with a number of uncertainties plus the uncomfortable situation I chose to live under at home. It started off on my prompting as I was bitching about something and somebody else and the reasons they were pissing me off. All that I was trying to do was vent and maybe get someone on my side and put the person under check. Alas! it was not to be so as there was a full U-Turn that seemed to be targeted at me.
In summary, I found out that I was basically a ne'er do well in their opinion. And it hurt. For days onward I couldn't snap out of the implication of me being a ne'er do well and worse, just finding it out, just confirming it. I actually agreed with the person to a certain extent and that, my friends, made it worse. It kinda resonated with what a lot of people I have met and worked with have said explicitly or by inference. It hurt menh especially coming from close quarters.
So I sulked and withdrew and doubted and accepted that as a fact and snapped at anyone and everyone...I carried it around for days and it made everything else I had been dealing with magnify in comparison to what they were before. I kept wondering what I'd been up to all these years and how come all my 'good intentions' were summarily dismissed as useless - and menh! have I been struggling?
Then I remembered 'who I am in Christ'. And all I can say is: I am good enough all the time! I hope I don't let anyone convince me different ever!
It was refreshing, to say the least. It made me understand that I Am is my Father and thus I am good enough-all the time.
It hurt a lot, also because it came at a bad time as I was dealing with a number of uncertainties plus the uncomfortable situation I chose to live under at home. It started off on my prompting as I was bitching about something and somebody else and the reasons they were pissing me off. All that I was trying to do was vent and maybe get someone on my side and put the person under check. Alas! it was not to be so as there was a full U-Turn that seemed to be targeted at me.
In summary, I found out that I was basically a ne'er do well in their opinion. And it hurt. For days onward I couldn't snap out of the implication of me being a ne'er do well and worse, just finding it out, just confirming it. I actually agreed with the person to a certain extent and that, my friends, made it worse. It kinda resonated with what a lot of people I have met and worked with have said explicitly or by inference. It hurt menh especially coming from close quarters.
So I sulked and withdrew and doubted and accepted that as a fact and snapped at anyone and everyone...I carried it around for days and it made everything else I had been dealing with magnify in comparison to what they were before. I kept wondering what I'd been up to all these years and how come all my 'good intentions' were summarily dismissed as useless - and menh! have I been struggling?
Then I remembered 'who I am in Christ'. And all I can say is: I am good enough all the time! I hope I don't let anyone convince me different ever!
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Ebube dike!
What else can I call it but coincidence? Actually, I feel 'involved' as a result of this coincidence. Although I am still in the process of finding out what I am called to.
What am I rambling on about? It is fair that I reveal what goes on at the back of my mind in the next sentence - yeah?
Chinualumogu Achebe is the one wielding the power to draw me out of my incommunicado'ness'. The fact that I can address a Nigerian 85 year old man by his known names - no other salutations attached to - is a sign of some breath-of-fresh-air simplicity.
I have not been much a Nigerian/African literature reader. My first readings were compulsory and as such I read to fulfill all righteousness, so I could pass my English Lit exams. My thoughts while I read most of them was 'boring', 'too basic', 'not intellectually stimulating' etc. I read a few that stimulated me, notably amongst them was Time Changes Yesterday. If memory serves me right, Enitan was the protagonist. It was refreshing. At the time, I can say I was cultivating my reading habit. I was reading Mills and Boons and a few James Hardley Chase, some Enid Blyton and sparsely Famous Five etc. So in comparison with the African counterpart, Western reads seemed better-more suited to my 'taste'. For one, I learned new words and went on fantasies with the author to places I would not have had the privilege to be.
Then by some stroke of 'fate' which I cannot quite recall in exact detail, and ironically while I was far away from home, I found Chinua again. I bought a copy of the trilogy: things fall apart, arrow of God and no longer at ease - from amazon at the same time i bought a copy of his latest effort: there was a country. I suspect that the flurry of activities surrounding the book piqued my interest. I must have decided to get some background on the guy's work by reading his previous books. Interesting stuff summarizes my reaction.
So many eulogies have been rendered on his demise. This is my 2 cents in hailing the fearless story teller who represented many things I am drawn to. Rest In Peace Prof!
And my book mark Quotes
What am I rambling on about? It is fair that I reveal what goes on at the back of my mind in the next sentence - yeah?
Chinualumogu Achebe is the one wielding the power to draw me out of my incommunicado'ness'. The fact that I can address a Nigerian 85 year old man by his known names - no other salutations attached to - is a sign of some breath-of-fresh-air simplicity.
I have not been much a Nigerian/African literature reader. My first readings were compulsory and as such I read to fulfill all righteousness, so I could pass my English Lit exams. My thoughts while I read most of them was 'boring', 'too basic', 'not intellectually stimulating' etc. I read a few that stimulated me, notably amongst them was Time Changes Yesterday. If memory serves me right, Enitan was the protagonist. It was refreshing. At the time, I can say I was cultivating my reading habit. I was reading Mills and Boons and a few James Hardley Chase, some Enid Blyton and sparsely Famous Five etc. So in comparison with the African counterpart, Western reads seemed better-more suited to my 'taste'. For one, I learned new words and went on fantasies with the author to places I would not have had the privilege to be.
Then by some stroke of 'fate' which I cannot quite recall in exact detail, and ironically while I was far away from home, I found Chinua again. I bought a copy of the trilogy: things fall apart, arrow of God and no longer at ease - from amazon at the same time i bought a copy of his latest effort: there was a country. I suspect that the flurry of activities surrounding the book piqued my interest. I must have decided to get some background on the guy's work by reading his previous books. Interesting stuff summarizes my reaction.
So many eulogies have been rendered on his demise. This is my 2 cents in hailing the fearless story teller who represented many things I am drawn to. Rest In Peace Prof!
And my book mark Quotes
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